Friday, July 22, 2011

rainy days

Just wondering if its ever going to stop raining? When I lived in the city the rain seemed so much greyer, and depressing. Now I am in the country, we are lucky to have large expanses of paddocks to look out onto from our windows. The rain is not depressing, but beautiful. The landscape has those beautiful muted tones, the fences have droplets of "crystals" hanging from them, and the trees are growing moss and algae on the branches.
I imagine if I was a 12 year old boy who lived in bali in my swimmers and on a skateboard with maids to do everything for me, I would be rather bored having no where to skate and being freezing cold and stuck inside with my step mum who doesnt make breakfast for me and her toddler. I would get on my bike and explore the neighborhood. But I am not he. Step parenting is hard. I am always having to work on acceptance, because he is soooooo different from me. I dont even get him. I dont even understand why he does what he does, and doesnt do what I think he should. I can see why the old religions made divorce illegal. I can see why having children out of wedlock was regarded as a terrible thing. I can see why step mums have a bad image in the old story books. I feel like the evil step mother alot. It takes alot of work to adjust to a whole human who is so different come live in your house for 8 weeks at a time...then gone again. It is hard on children to be going between the two places too. climate, seasons, rules, rhythms, family traditions, little rituals etc everything is different. Imagine not knowing what to do with yourself, so you end up copying your 3 year old brother in everything. Eating foods that 3 year olds eat, playing with preschool blocks again, and pretending to hide and run in the toddler games. Some step children are walking on eggshells...cause they dont adjust to the differences quickly enough, and when they do, they are back at the other house again...then they find out what they missed out on. Worse, their other siblings have richer dads, and they got to do more and bigger and better stuff while on holidays. ouch. what a life, what a life.... but then, try being adopted, or aborted, or never knowing who one of your parents are. hmmmm


Lisa at Greenbow said...

Life is difficult.

Anne said...

Thanks for your comment...:)

The Lyra oil crayons where $9.95 at the art shop in Springwood. They have a Lyra section in the art shop, which I love. Otherwise it's a trip to Sydney, which I don't do very often. I love the bright colours of the Lyra crayons and water colour paints.

The wooden rainbow is from the toy library (LOL). Lou picked it out this week - our toy libary has a good selection of wooden / Waldorfy type toys.

The desk was from the opp shop.

Umatji said...

hoo - that sounds big and hard and challenging. I am sure it feels like crap far more often than you would like. A wonderful woman I know told me when I was having a hard time wiht my boys recently to at the end of every day for one week (then see) write down three things that were good and why and one good thing about myself. you know - it really helped - don't know if you could find 2 min at the end of each day - it really changes things!
go well