Monday, March 11, 2013

Embracing our differences

The beautiful thing about being sensitive, means that we are sensitive. We sense stuff. We can REALLY taste, smell, see, hear. As a parent of a sensitive child, it can be hard. I have an inner voice that sometimes just wants little messyfish to not be so sensitive so MY life is easier. BUT I know I can't make him less sensitive. I know what could happen is I could make him feel bad for being sensitive. Make him feel bad for who he is. That would be the worst thing ever....Just so it's easier for me to be with him temporarily? Ouch. No. We don't do that. We honour his sensitivities, we allow him to be, we encourage him.

Still life, by little messyfish. Quiet creative days at home. Lots of them. And NO, he doesn't want friends around because they mess up his things!

The Chinese Gardens in Sydney, a quiet and welcome relief from the visual confusion of darling harbour.

Eating Pho Bò for breakfast. Its hot, fragrant, nourishing, and because small cardboard like flakes floating round in bowls of cold cows milk doesn't appeal.

Freaking out when we enter a loud and crowded restaurant. Insisting that he sits under the table the entire time. Me feeling pressure to make him "be sensible", and join the table. Me realising that he is 4. He can't do that. He won't do that. Me, setting him up under there, where he feels safer. iPad, drink, rice and steamed fish with ginger and shallots (all green bits removed).
Again, as the adult, I get to choose whether I make him feel bad and force him to do things he doesn't want to do, or I face the wrath of the socially acceptable robots. I choose to let him be. A strong and confident child is not created by making them be performing seals. Acting confident is not confidence. It's not a surface job. He was SURE he was going to sit there. Quiet confident indeed!


Julie said...

You are a smart and loving Mom. He is only 4. Not everyone is so able to handle loud and noisy. I sure do hate it myself! Screw the robots!

Bella Sinclair said...

Hellooooo! You were in Vietnam, how fabulous!!! What an adventure full of exotic sights and tastes. Must have been great. I loved looking over your drawings from your trip.

When my older daughter was younger, around your son's age until about 7 or so, she was sensitive to certain stimuli like loud, thumping music or things that moved on their own such as balloons. She would want to escape and beg everyone to just be still for a while. My running theory is that when the brain is still developing, sometimes certain sensory stimuli are difficult to process and are just overwhelming. My daughter's 14 now, and when I asked her about those times in the past, she explained that it was all just too much for her. She needed to regain a sense of control. I think it's wonderful that you are letting little messyfish be. You are the protector of his world and his happiness and you don't have to answer to anyone else.

I'm so happy to see you again! xoxo

Cary said...

thanks for this post, it is so true.